Things we lost in the Fire

As I think about things to write about my experiences from 2010 to 2011, lots of things trigger my memory. I have made the decision to write about this year not in chronological order but as the memories come back to me as I reflect on the past. Looking through pictures recently, I ran across pictures from the fire. It was almost exactly a year ago, March of 2011..Spring Break and we almost lost everything.

It was Spring Break 2011 and my mom had flown in from Texas and was visiting me and the kids. At this time, we were living in a house owned by a friend who used the home during the day as a daycare center. We lived only a block away from the home I had left in 2010. The kids loved the school and we had lived with a couple of families in the neighborhood. I was amazed at the love and support from the community of Boise in NE Portland. Tammy gave me the keys to the house at the beginning of the school year, she knew that I was commuting from Salem to Portland every day, dropping the kids off at school and looking for work. When I finally got the job at OHSU in November. We made an agreement for me to stay, help with utilities and rent until I could get on my feet and find an apartment.

We used a large closet in the house to keep our clothes, toiletries and the kid’s school supplies. At night the kids slept on individual cots and I slept on a sleeping bag in the in the living room.
The house was set up as a daycare center, so we kept everything we owned our beds, furniture, pictures,toys,everything you would have in your home in a storage unit in SE Portland. Never in my wildest dreams did I think we should worry about or belongings in storage. I had become fast friends with the storage manager and she encourage me to keep my insurance up to date..thank goodness.

My mom was worried when we arrived and she asked a lot of questions about where we were living. I assured her that we were living in a nice house that was a daycare center from 8am-5pm. Tammy was my sitter so it worked out perfectly. She would pick up the kids from school and when I got home the staff would leave and I could prepare dinner for the kids, have family time and get them ready for bed. My mom arranged for us to stay at a beautiful resort like hotel during her week-long stay. The room was luxurious!! I went to work that week and mom would take the kids on outings around Portland to spoil them on their Spring Break. We had a wonderful week together. I remember the night before mom left, the kids were asleep, mom and I were watching television and I saw the news story…I saw the fire on the tv screen and I knew…The news report was about a 3 alarm fire at a public storage unit off of 82nd avenue in SE Portland. I knew right away it was at the facility where we had our unit. I sat up in bed and said to my mom “Oh my God mom…that is where we have everything we own” Mom tried to reassure me but I knew. Witnesses reported that there was first an explosion and then a fire on site. Many of the units had been destroyed. I could barely get myself to sleep.

The next day in the afternoon, I reached the storage unit manager on the phone,she paused and took a deep breath when I waited for her response. She said…”Sonja.. I am so sorry, your unit was damaged in the fire” I felt like my knees were going to give away and I started to cry. The manager said ” I am not sure if the damage is fire, smoke and water they will not let me back there in that area. We will call later this week and let you take a look at the damages.” The manager also said “I am so glad we kept your insurance up to date..I am really sorry sweetie..I know you are working so hard to take of you and your beautiful kids”

It was nearly a week later when I was allowed to go on site and see the damage.I called my best friend Jeannie and as I drove to the property. As I was on the phone with her I asked her to pray with me. It took me an hour to get to the unit I pulled over a couple of times afraid to see what I had lost. I have known Jeannie for 20 years, she is the best friend I have ever had..she has been by my side in both of my weddings and was by my side when my daughter was born. She has gotten me through some tough times with her amazing faith and sense of humor. Despite the fact that we now live in separate states for nearly 13 years she is my touchstone. She said ” Sonja, you are one of the bravest women I know,you will get through this” I stayed on the phone with Jeannie until I got to the property.

It looked like a war zone. There were fireman, other personnel and tenants on site to see their storage.
After signing several forms of release forms (so that I would not sue if I was injured on site) I went with an agent to see my unit. I saw many units burned beyond recognition, I was a little disoriented by all of the chaos and mistakenly thought one area was where my unit was and stopped cold in my tracks. The agent was very reassuring and slowly walked me to the area where I could find my unit. It was dark and pitch black. There were holes in the ceilings and water everywhere. The firefighters had doused the property with thousands of gallons of water to put out the fire. We had to use flashlights to see into my unit. My unit was jammed pack with all of our belongings. I simply stuck my hand in and touched my queen size mattress that wa leaning one the wall. It was completely soaked. The agent said “You are really lucky..they were able to stop the fire before it got to this section of the building..however, your unit suffered severe smoke and water damage.”

Over the next 3 hours I sat in the parking lot as contractors brought out each and every item from my unit. They helped me get pictures of my items, they tossed items completely damaged and promptly placed salvaged items on another truck. We lost a lot of things..all of our mattresses, couch, chairs,televisions, electronics, computers, stuffed animals, clothing, linens even a wardrobe box of my formal clothes..too many to mention. I did fortunately use a lot of plastic bins and found a bin full of family albums and other important papers that were salvaged. My insurance would cover damages of up to only $2000. Clearly not enough to replace what had been damaged. As I made my way through the day, I reconciled with what had been lost and talked with other tenants as they also went through their own belongings. The common thread was that these “things” were lost but they could all be replaced. Luckily no one had been hurt in the fire. I was comforted by a peace that came over me..the peace that only God could bring. In the past few years I have experienced incredible loss. Loss of a marriage and the dream of being a stay at home mom to my children and a lifestyle I had wanted to provide for my family. The fire was just one more hurdle, but I was not going to let this loss defeat me either. I had a roof over my head, healthy kids who were happy, a new job I loved and enough hope for the future.

I remember talking to the kids that night about what he had lost in the fire. They were sad about the things that were damaged but were ecstatic the their newer toys were split between the daycare and dad’s house so the kids only lost a few of their things. They were more worried about me and I promised them that we would be okay. I am constantly amazed at the resiliency of my children and how they love and trust unconditionally. I remember the day on the phone with storage company as I was in tears the kids all surrounded me and hugged me as I cried, they are the reason I have the strength to move forward. We lost a lot of “things” in the fire nearly a year ago but I have always been the richest mom in the world surrounded by the love of my beautiful children.

My ” Pursuit of Happyness “

Recently, I watched the movie Pursuit of Happyness with my children. I felt many emotions as I watched the film about a suddenly single dad who struggles to make enough money to care for his young son and keep a roof over their heads. Chris Gardner faces the challenges of homelessness while embracing an incredible opportunity to participate in an internship at Dean Witter. The struggles for this father hit really close to home for me and parallel my own experiences. Nearly 2 years ago,I had to leave my home because my the nonprofit agency subsidizing my housing grant lost their funding..in the middle of my one year lease.
I was completing a year with AmeriCorps making only enough to cover minimal living expenses. I had a lease agreement with the agency and the landlord for a year, I had funding to pay my rent for a year…so I thought.I had finally begun to see a path for me and the children.. I had been so blessed to have been hired as a Volunteer Coordinator at the World Affairs Council for my AmeriCorps service year, find a house to lease for a year right down the street from my kid’s school, and have enough money to cover our living expenses modestly for the year.But life had other plans.

There is a scene in the movie when Chris Gardner opens a letter and finds out that his account has been seized by the IRS. The panic and devastation this causes him brings me to tears. I remember the day when I began to panic…the day I received the notice of eviction from my landlord and the day I walked in to the agency to ask why they were breaking our year-long agreement. I sat in the lobby and no one would talk to me directly. They simply stated their funding was gone and that my case managers had been fired. They had a new employee come out and hand me a pamphlet with housing resources.I felt like the walls were closing in all around me. For 2 years, this agency that helped me escape an alcoholic marriage and provide housing assistance as I moved me and my children to Portland, went back to school and re-entered the workforce after 7 years as a stay at home mom. The staff had become like family to me now I was basically abandoned.

My journey to self-sufficiency despite the incredible challenges is at the heart of I will talk about in my blog. We all have obstacles to overcome in life, but more than ever before there are families hurting in this economy of rising unemployment and budget cuts. What my experience has taught me that single moms like myself who are raising their families on their own (usually without child support) are the first to fall through the cracks. I was very fortunate to live in a close-knit loving community of friends during the most difficult year of my life.My association with an amazing organization, Dress for Success Oregon has also given me a platform to speak about my experiences but also to give back to the amazing community or “Circle of Friends” that was there for me and my children during a very difficult time.